Motivational Monday | Self Acceptance

Self Acceptance is something I'm sure a lot of us have struggled with at some point in our lives. We all have flaws and imperfections that make us hate ourselves but it shouldn't be that way. We all need to learn to love ourselves because, if we don't, we can never be fully happy.

Growing up, I was never 100% happy with myself as a person, especially when I started my teen years. When I was 12/13, I think I came across as a happy person despite being chubby and not fitting in to society's definition of 'pretty'. I didn't wear make-up and my hair was almost always in a ponytail. It wasn't until I was 14 that I started noticing what other girls looked like and that maybe I should look like them. I changed my hair drastically, I got it straightened, got a fringe cut and dyed it red. I also began wearing make-up (foundation and eyeliner). I did all this to make myself 'fit in'. Unfortunately, I was still unhappy with myself. One of my biggest insecurities is my teeth. They were overcrowded when I was in my early teens so I hated smiling in pictures. I remember when I was having my Year 10 photo taken and I tried so hard to smile without my teeth but they ended up sticking out and I looked ridiculous. It wasn't until I was 16 that I started smiling more in pictures and trying to be more accepting of my teeth. Unfortunately, in April 2015, I had fixed braces and my insecurities came back stronger than ever. I felt like Ugly Betty without the glasses. 

It's taken me a long time but I've accepted myself for who I am. Maybe I have braces, maybe I have spots, maybe I'm chubby, but those aren't what define me as a person. Yes, I get incredibly jealous all of the time of other girls who don't have braces and have perfect make-up but, at the end of the day, we are all different and that's what makes us beautiful.

Here are some ways to cultivate self-acceptance:

• Set an intention - It's important that we set an intention for ourselves that we are willing to shift paradigms from a world of blame, doubt and shame to a world of allowance, tolerance, acceptance and trust. This intention acknowledges that self-loathing doesn't lead to a satisfying life. If you set your intention that a life with self-acceptance is better than a life with self-hatred then you can begin a chain reaction within that leads to a life of peace.
• Celebrate your strengths - Instead of focusing on all the negatives about yourself, try and list all the positives about yourself instead. I know this can be difficult but I'm sure you have something good in your life. For example, I'm very fortunate to have a loving family, a roof over my head, I'm healthy, I try my hardest to be as independent as possible and I'm always accepting of others. Your strengths can come in any forms, for instance, even leaving the house when you're feeling low is still a great achievement. Your strengths are all worth noting, no matter how big or small.
• Consider the people around you - Obviously if you're being surrounded by people in a negative environment, you're never going to be happy. Think about the people in your life. Do they treat you with respect? Are they accepting of you? Do they pick you up when you're down? If the answer to all those questions is 'no', then I would suggest finding some new people to spend your life with. Be friends with people who make you answer 'yes' to all of those questions.
• Forgive yourself - Having regrets can stand in the way of self acceptance. We all need to learn to forgive ourselves, we can't change the past. The behavior or decision might not seem correct in hindsight, but at the time it seemed like the best choice. Instead of regretting, learn from your mistakes. 
• Shush your inner critic - We all have one. A inner critic that tells us all the negative aspects of ourselves. "You look too fat", "You look ugly", ect. A lot of people equate this inner critic with the voice of reason but this is wrong. Whenever you're having these thoughts, in your head, tell that critic "I may look fat, but I'm happy with my body" and "No, I'm looking good as this is my face and it's the only one I have so I have to accept it". Our mistakes and our imperfections are not bad or wrong or failures – they are the fingerprints of humanity and opportunities for learning, healing and growth.
• Be kind to yourself - A lot of people are hesitant to show even a hint of self-kindness because they see it as selfish or undeserved. One of the keys to self-compassion is understanding that weakness and frailty are part of the human experience. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend or family member.
• Perform charitable acts - When you sacrificially give to others, you see how your deeds are a positive influence on other lives. It becomes more and more difficult to maintain the idea that you are no good when you see how your deeds help other people.
• Know that acceptance is not resignation - Acceptance is letting go of the past and things we cannot control. This way you can focus your energy on that which you can control, which is empowering. In fact, for some people, accepting that they have a problem is the first step to making positive changes. 
• Fake it until you make it - If you're unconvinced that you're a worthy person, keep the faith and keep at it. Keep practicing self-compassion along with the other suggestions. 

It may be difficult, at first, but as long as you keep repeating the above acts, you'll eventually accept and be happy within yourself. 

Thank you so much for reading this blog,

I really hope it helps in some way or another.

❤

July Favourites ❤

Hi, sorry for not posting in ages.

If I'm honest, I really don't know what to post on this blog anymore.

However, I do enjoy writing my 'Monthly Favourites' posts as I like 

reflecting on all the positives of the past month.

July has been a great month for me, there have been a lot of highlights.

Here's what I've been loving this month:

Activated - Cher Lloyd

If you know me well, you'll know I'm a huge fan of Cher Lloyd ever since she was on The X Factor in 2010. Since then, she has released two albums and several singles. This is her latest single, 'Activated', and it's amazing. In my opinion, it's her best song yet. I would say that Cher is one of the most underrated artists out there because her last album, Sorry I'm Late, wasn't successful. She has one of the most beautiful voices and has been working so hard for the past six years, she deserves to be successful. I know some of you might not like Cher (for some reason?) but, please, just give this new single a listen on YouTube and if you like it, you can buy it here on iTunes. 

Ghostbusters

Some of you may be shocked to see this as one of my favourites but, honestly, this is one of the funniest films I've seen this year. I don't understand the hate it got when this reboot was announced. I think the majority of hate came from people who grew up watching the original (where the four main characters were played by men) and were sceptical to the new version. This was one of the films I was most looking forward to watching and it didn't disappoint. This is directed by Paul Feig and I loved two of his previous films, The Heat and Spy. I think that this one manages to give its own unique take on the classic story without being a direct copy. I think it's worth watching if you enjoyed the original, are a fan of Paul Feig and the actors featured in this film. If you want to read my full review, click here. 

Now You See Me 2

Now You See Me is one of my favourite films as it's thrilling and has a unique story about a group of magicians who use tricks to escape the FBI. It was entertaining and was one of the best films of 2013. When I found out there was going to be a sequel, I was really excited as the main characters were all really likable and I wondered where they would go after the events of the first film. While this isn't as good as the first film, it's still a fun watch. There are several new characters including Daniel Radcliffe as the antagonist, Walter Mabry. He provided comic relief in this thriller. The tricks in the first film were created using logic and made the audience think 'How did they do that?'. However, in this sequel, the answer to that question is obvious: CGI. But, if I'm honest, I don't see that as a bad thing because what film doesn't rely on CGI these days? While this isn't a perfect sequel, it's still enjoyable to watch, especially if you enjoyed the first film. If you'd like to read my full review, click here.

The BFG

When I was growing up, Roald Dahl's The BFG was one of my favourite books. Most giants are seen as scary and evil but Dahl changes that stereotype. The 'BFG' stands for 'Big Friendly Giant' and that's exactly what the main character is. The story does include giants that are horrible and enjoy eating people but that's where the conflict comes in. The BFG is the only one that's friendly and would rather eat the disgusting 'snozzcumber' then a human 'bean'. When I re-read the book earlier this year, I remembered why I loved it and I was so happy when I heard that Steven Spielberg had directed a live action adaptation of it. Fortunately, it didn't disappoint and it managed to capture the feel of the book. The CGI looked stunning and I felt like I was part of Sophie's adventure with the BFG. This film is mainly aimed towards children but there's no reason why people who read the book shouldn't enjoy it. If you want to read my full review, click here.

 'Tanya Bakes' by Tanya Burr

Back in summer 2014, I went through a phase of baking. I wanted to be able to make cakes, cookies, ect from scratch but, unfortunately, it didn't really work out and I gave up. When one of my favourite YouTubers, Tanya Burr, announced she was bringing out her first baking book, I couldn't be more happier for her. I was also really excited to see what recipes she would include. I think that this is the perfect baking book for anyone wanting to start baking and need tips. Tanya has proven in a lot of her videos that she can easily bake and cook from scratch and makes the most amazing products. This book includes recipes such as: cookies & biscuits; muffins, cupcakes & traybakes; cakes & loaves; puddings; pastry; bread; brunch and special occasions. I haven't tried out any of the recipes myself yet as I don't have the ingredients to do so but, as soon as I have the right ingredients and equipment, I will definitely try out a recipe from Tanya's book.

Highlight of July - Meeting Fleur De Force (29/07/2016)

In February 2015, I met Fleur De Force for the first time at her book signing for her first book 'The Glam Guide'. She was really sweet and we talked about Twitter and makeup (of course). Earlier this year, Fleur announced that she was writing her second book, 'The Luxe Life' and I couldn't be more excited to read it. I was so happy when she announced a book tour and that she was coming to Manchester. She was just as down to earth the first time I met her. I told her that I met her at her previous book signing back in February last year and she said that it feels like yesterday that she was here touring with her first book. I loved meeting her and I'm hoping that she'll bring out another book and there'll be another opportunity for me to see her. I'd definitely recommend this book to anyone in need of advice based on make-up, hair, clothing or how to live a 'luxe life'.

Those were my favourites and highlights of this month.

Thank you so much for reading this, I really do appreciate it.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. 

Hopefully, I'll start updating this blog more when I get more ideas.

❤